NFL Fans and MBFA Readers: the long NFL regular season has come and gone.
Along the way we’ve been providing you with updates on how the Human teams and the Bird Teams were faring in their annual struggle for dominance. [We are the ONLY news source compiling and reporting on this data, by the way.] Last time we checked in, the Humans held a slim lead over the Birds. Here’s what the final Regular Season count looks like:
That’s right, fowl beasts! Humanity wins again*. We’ll beat you on the gridiron and then we’ll cook you on the gridiron! And then we’ll eat you! Then naps happen.
In short order, the NFL playoffs will reach its dramatic conclusion – appropriately pitting the best Human team (the Patriots) versus the best Bird team (the Falcons). Further demonstrating the Human stranglehold on the NFL, the other two Final Four contenders were also Human teams (the Packers and the Steelers – yes, we accept the Steelers despite their obnoxiously entitled and dimwitted fanbase).
And so it was that another NFL season came to pass – and once again Humanity’s dominion over the feathered beasts is proven. Once the Falcons are plucked in the Superbowl by Tommy Brady and his fully inflated and majestic balls, we’ll celebrate with one final NFL-related post. Until then, eat well my friends.
*Editor’s note: Bird rights groups, you can save your breath – we did NOT count the Browns as a Human team. Brown is a color, and a shitty one at that.