Found another winner over at the other hax site. I felt brain cells evaporating and misting out of my ear holes as I read the entry. Here it is:
I don’t understand this at all. Why not use a cutting board? There’s actually a cutting board in the fucking picture. Why use a piece of cardboard infused with microscopic shit-particles? In honor of the above ignoble pile of internet fuckery, we’ve devised our own kitchen-based #ShittyLifehax! Enjoy, my fellow gastronomes!